Showing posts with label A Good Day to Die Hard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A Good Day to Die Hard. Show all posts

Thursday, 24 October 2013

The Cardboard Dog Halloween Movie List Part 3: Monster Movies

Monsters! Whether its the creepy-crawly variety or the mutated mess or the evil from beyond, monster movies can be awesome. They remind us of how good we have it in our own non-terrifying realities of phone bills and social media and, that in all likelihood, we won't have to come home to fend off our mutated pets or have to endure the horror of banishing a pin-headed demon back to hell. From corporate aliens to unimaginable inter-dimensional monsters, here's a top 5. 

Top 5 Monster Movies

They Live (1988)
Let's kick off this countdown with a movie from one of the legends of horror, John Carpenter. And now let's undermine it by saying that it stars Randy Roddy Piper. The concept of the movie is familiar, that there's an untouchable malevolent power that keeps us subordinate, that makes the poor, poorer and the rich, richer. In this case it's aliens – hidden among us and likely driving a Mercedes. The aliens are the affluent and elite; they're investment bankers, they're in positions of power and influence and they're bleeding the planet dry. Their true form can be only be seen by wearing a special pair of shades (which means Roddy can look cool as he kicks their asses). It's a story that's become even more relevant these days as the bankers have made things harder for all of us and we're practically drowning in marketing and consumerism every day. Because of this, the movie is popular with those who subscribe to the Illuminati conspiracy theory. But don't let that put you off...



Cabin in the Woods (2012)
If you haven't seen this film – beware, there are spoilers ahead, so you must make this the next horror movie you see! The buzz around this movie as it was released was that it was much more than the usual horror film. The choice of film title, demonstrates that the “cabin in the woods” is almost a sub-genre itself, and an acknowledgement from the film-makers that the audience will have many pre-conceptions of what they think they're going to see. From the opening sequence, you know its going to be different and as you watch it, you realise that there's a lot going on which will keep you guessing (a rare element these days). Why am I recommending it as a monster movie? The last quarter of the film just explodes with monsters. Any kind you can think of. A Halloween treat, see it again or see it for the first time.



The Fly (1987)
If you need a goofy but sexy leading man to play a brilliant genius in your next Sci-Fi film, there's only one guy to call – Jeff Goldblum. Independence Day, Jurassic Park and The Fly are his most successful films and in each one, he plays a charismatic brainiac. It's The Fly that's the darkest and most horrific. It's an update of the 1958 monster movie and tells the same story; scientist accidentally mixes his genes with that of a housefly and starts to merge with the insect. No better director for the update, David Cronenberg's fascination with body horror makes this film an exercise in the grotesque. When it first came out, there were reports of grown men throwing up while watching The Fly in cinemas. Maybe this was just some nifty marketing but if you have to vomit over one film, make it this one...



The Thing (1982)
Another remake of a 50's monster picture, and another from John Carpetner. Like Cronenberg's The Fly, The Thing deals with an alien which assimilates any living form by replicating it at a genetic level, destroying the host as it does so (Cronenberg would no doubt have found The Thing an interesting project). This is a licence for the film-makers to let their imaginations run wild with some insane effects and gore and with Rob Bottin and Stan Winston on board, rest assured you see some crazy shit. The action is set at a remote Antarctic outpost and amongst the gore there's a decent “whodunnit” at play as the alien conceals itself within one (or more) of the crew and the paranoia builds.



The Mist (2007)
Not The Asylum's long awaited version of The Fog, this is in fact a severely under-rated horror film, based on a Stephen King story and directed by one Frank Darabont. The Mist is the story of an apparent inter-dimensional rip which allows Lovecraftian type monsters to spew through into our world. The unfolding nightmare is told from the perspective of a handful of shoppers holed up in a convenience store in Small Town America (once again). Thomas Jane is just awesome as the man doing all he can to protect his son and decide whether to stay in the crumbling safety of store or to try to find somewhere beyond the mist itself. For gore fans, there's not loads to tweet home about but the monster design is excellent and the ending is one of the most powerful there's been.







Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Top 5 Father & Son Team-ups

So as A Good Day to Die Hard stumbles on at the box office, I thought it would be a good time to offer our Top 5 Father & Son Team-ups!

No. 5 - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
To get things started, we have what I genuinely believe would be stiff competition for the McClane duo. As good as Jai Courtney may have been, he just can't match the menace of a swearing 11 year old thug. And Vinnie Jones was on great form here in his movie debut, playing a dirty lowlife scumbag... I reckon they would've made for a good spin-off movie. Maybe we can get them cast as decent villains for Die Hard 6.



No. 4 - Vice Versa (1988)
Who the fuck, you might ask, is Fred Savage and what's a Judge Reinhold? Well, they're human beings and damn good ones too. Once upon a time they made a movie called Vice Versa which is basically a faitytale about a father and son who swap bodies. This is a truly horrifying idea and not one worth dwelling on. That to one side, Vice Versa was one of several films to address the "inner child" notion, same as Like Father Like Son (1987) and Big (1988). Why was this one so good? Mssrs Savage and Reinhold, that's why. They are the 80's here and something about them works really well - it's probably down to the fact that they're so damn likeable.



No. 3 - Return of the Jedi (1983)
I don't think that it'll spoil anything at this stage to mention that Luke Skywalker is the fruit of Darth Vader's loins. Yes, for 1.6 films we believed that Vader was going to spell the end for young Skywalker but in true Days of Our Lives fashion, Vader dropped the bomb that he was indeed Luke's father. No need for a DNA show there, Jeremy Kyle. It was when Luke was getting his ass handed to him by The Emperor that Vader finally decides to team up with his son. The Emperor is having so much fun making Skywalker blub like a baby that he does little to stop Vader from hoisting him up and plopping him into the abyss. Shit, was that another spoiler?!



No. 2 - Shogun Assassin (1980)
You may never look at a man with a sword pushing a pram in the same way again. Ogami Itto and son Daigoro (AKA Lone Wolf and Cub) are on a mission. The local Shogun decides to send a crack squad of ninjas to wipe out Ogami Itto and his family but they only manage to kill his wife. Big mistake. The father and son hit the road for one of the greatest revenge sagas ever made, with violence so horrific it's comical and music so damn cool RZA wishes he wrote it.



No. 1 - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Just when we thought Indy couldn't get any better, they went and added River Phoenix and Sean Connery to the cast. Its a tribute to Phoenix that he made his short appearance so integral to the myth of Indy, but it was the genius casting of Connery as curmudgeonly Henry Jones that set the movie as the best entry of the three. Sorry, four... (ahem). Connery was only 12 years older that Harrison Ford but they work so sublimely that its seamless. It's fun to see Indy reduced to a teenager at Henry's constant slights and reprimands while its equally fun to watch Indy's frustration at his father for being such a fuddy-duddy. Their relationship conveys some truths of a father / son relationship while being sweet and funny. All while killing Nazis.






Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Review: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
Dir: John Moore
Cert 12A / Running time 98 mins

Die Hard is from the canon of franchises that are sacred and revered. Alongside Terminator, The Matrix, Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Unfortunately, just like all of those franchises, it too, can be fucked up. I'd got a sense for the reviews of A Good Day to Die Hard - they weren't great - but as I mentioned, its Die Hard. Sacred and revered. I went into the movie having parked all those comments and reviews and was prepared to let John McClane fire me up... It didn't happen. And it set about not happening pretty quickly.

Feeling like a Mission: Impossible movie from the opening credits, I watched just how McClane junior (played by Jai Courtney) winds up getting into the spot of bother which compels McClane senior (Bruce Willis) to hop on the first Aeroflot to Russia.

From there the movie is too eager to dive into the Kiss Kiss Bang Bang of things. Theres no build up before it all kicks off. I felt a kind of awkwardness as McClane casually steals a truck to pursue the heavies chasing his son. Then again as he "commandeers" another vehicle to continue the pursuit (are we really supposed to cheer along McClane when he smacks the mouth of a civilian whose car he just landed on, then steals?!). To give credit to director John Moore, the street chase does have certain moments and shots of real energy and impact. But I couldn't help thinking that McClane likely killed more innocent civilians in this Moscow car chase than terrorists in all of the Die Hard movies combined.

And this is part of the problem with A Good Day to Die Hard; its reckless. Not in a good risk taking way but in a lazy way. Examples? McClane emerges from otherwise traumatic accidents with no real physical or emotional consequences. Cars and weapons are to be found whenever they're needed - not earned through ingenuity or wit. "I always have a machine gun LOL". McClane senior wanders from one situation to the next looking worryingly like a bewildered old man, tagging along at times. The dialogue does little to crank up the tension or define anything interesting  about anyone. I really missed the McClane that uses an office chair, monitor and C4 to take out a floor of terrorists. The inconsolable McClane that watched a plane full of passengers perish despite his best efforts. The McClane that was made to jump through hoops to find the bomb in the New York school.

Dude, we totally fucked up Russia!
Another thing the film suffers from is not having a clear villain. It needed (as more and more action films are begging for) a villain thats engaging, darkly humorous, wicked and a credible threat to the hero. When the "twist" came (those of you who have seen the film will know what I'm talking about), I felt a little robbed and underwhelmed. So much so that for me the most effective surprise was offloaded in the first few minutes when the BBC's Sophie Raworth turned up to deliver some plot points.

But its not all negative. Jai Courtney was fairly decent as Jack McClane. It was a nice notion to see more of the McClane / Gennaro clan (surely we can work Holly into the next one?!). Bruce Willis shows no signs of slowing down (and why should he?) and with talk of a sixth Die Hard, I'm looking forward to see him continue to feature in more action movies.

"So...you got anyone in mind for the sixth one? Bruce?"
So ultimately, A Good Day to Die Hard wasn't just disappointing, it was frustrating. I was thinking of what it needed - not what it had. Den of Geek compiled a list of things they reckon the franchise needs to get back on track here. I agree with most of them.

John Moore's recent Empire interview had a lot of aggressive machismo, sadly this manifested itself in the film when it needed needed more than that. If its going to call itself a Die Hard movie, then it has to meet the standard. The standard it meets instead is that of too many mainstream action movies today, loud and obnoxious with little regard for an audience that expects better.